What Purposes Do Kevin Gates’s Phones Serve?

Let us begin by enumerating the phones of which Kevin Gates is currently known to be in possession.

We know, for example, that Gates has “one phone for the plug and one for the load,” as well as “ one for the bitches and one for the bros.”

And yet, he thinks he needs two more!

What purpose could these fifth and sixth phones possibly serve?

The answer lies in the fact that Gates has got six jobs, and does not get tired!

The obvious conclusion is that phones #5 and 6 are essential for the other two jobs — whatever those may be.

But wait —Not one of Gates’s phones appears to be allocated to the music industry!

And this, of course, presents a significant dilemma.

While Gates is, without a doubt, more of a trapper than a rapper, and would prefer to get it out the mud rather than fuck with some industry niggas, his current phone allocation system is just a trainwreck waiting to happen.

And in fact, it gets worse!

Evidently, all Gates’s phones are “off the meter,” and he don’t want talk to nobody, and don’t want nobody around him.

This makes one wonder whether Gates’s six phones are worth the price he’s paying for them!

Assuming, of course, that these phones are pre-paid burners, and thus do not incur monthly payment obligations, they still seem to offer little return on investment (ROI), in view of the fact that he regularly turns all of them off.

However, if Gates’s six phones are indeed burners (which seems likely), then it is highly probable that he simply discards them on a whim, at any time he chooses.

In this case, can we assign a consistent hard number to Gates’s phone count at all, or is the number continually fluctuating — verging on arbitrary?

Many questions remain unanswered, my friends.

As for Gates, he seems to have things pretty well figured out.

Perhaps it is not altogether necessary, in the end, for us to know what purposes his various phones serve.

Perhaps there are some things we are not meant to understand.